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Dear Patric
I don't really know how to tell you this, but You're a leprechaun. I think I realized it When your horse ran away With George Bush and I saw you Sit on My father. I'm sure you're shamed enough to understand The middle-east is planning their revenge on you. I'm returning Your toe ring to you, but I'll keep Your collection of butterflies as a memory. You should also know that I Love your sweet, sweet self and You should really stop that
Go milk a cow
Trevor



Here's what you do:

Fill in the note with the options below in place of the numbers:

Dear (Somebody you've talked to recently)
I don't really know how to tell you this, but (1). I think I realized it (2)(3) and I saw you (4)(5). I'm sure you're (6) enough to understand (7). I'm returning (8) to you, but I'll keep (9) as a memory. You should also know that I (10) and (11)
(12)
(Your name)

1) What's the color of your shirt?
Blue – I can’t stand your shampoo
Red - Our relationship is over
White - I’m joining the Convent
Black -Purple hedgehogs want to destroy you
Green- Our socks don't match
Grey - You're a leprechaun
Yellow - I'm selling myself for candy
Pink - Your nostrils are insulting
Brown - The mafia wants you
No shirt - Our romance is over
Other -I dislike your eyelashes

2) Which is your birth month?
January - That night you picked your nose
February -When I quoted Forest Gump
March - When your dwarf bit me
April - When I tripped on peanut butter
May - When I finally changed my socks
June - When you put handcuffs on me
July – When your horse ran away
August - When you slapped my face
September - Last year when you jumped the canyon
October - When we went swimming in the bathtub
November - When your dog attacked me
December - When I threw up in your sock drawer

3) Which food do you prefer?
Tacos - In your apartment
Chicken- In your car
Pasta - Outside of your office
Hamburgers - Under the bus
Salad – As you were eating Kraft Dinner
Lasagna - In your closet
Kebab - With what’s his face
Seafood - In a clown suit
Sandwiches - At the Elton John concert
Pizza - At the mental hospital
Hot dog - Under a street light
Other- With George Bush

4) What's the color of your socks?
Yellow - Ignore
Red - Put whipped cream on
Black - Hit on
Blue - Knock out
Purple - Pour syrup on
White - Carve your initials into
Grey – Give ice cream to
Brown - bite off
Orange – Scream at
Pink – Kick into
Barefoot - Sit on
Other - Drive over

5) What's the color of your underwear?
Black - My girlfriend
White - My father
Grey – The Catholic Priest
Brown – The Montreal Canadian’s goalie
Purple - My corned beef hash
Red – My knee caps
Blue - My salt-beef bucket
Yellow - My long lost brother in Cambodia
Orange - My Blink 182 cd
Pink – Your ‘My Little Pony’ collection
Other --The elephant in the corner

6) What do you prefer to watch on TV?
One Tree Hill - Senile
Heroes- Frostbitten
Lost - High
Simpsons- Cowardly
The news - Scarred
American Idol – Attractive
Family Guy - Open
Top Model - Middle-class
Other -shamed

7) Your mood right now?
Happy - How awful you are
Sad - How boring you are
Bored - That I love my garbage men
Angry - That your smell makes me vomit
Depressed – That we’re related
Excited - That I may have a panic attack
Content - The middle-east is planning their revenge on you
Worried - That your Ford stinks
Apathetic – That we must run away to Africa
Silly - That I'm allergic to your earlobes
Cuddly - That Santa doesn't exist
Eh, I'm ok - That there is no solution to you being a dumb kid
Other - That your driving stinks

8) What's the color of your walls in your bedroom?
White - Your toe ring
Yellow - Your letters to me
Red - The pictures from Vegas
Black - Your pet rock
Blue - The couch cushions
Green - Your car
Orange - Your false teeth
Brown - Your nose hair clippers
Grey - Our matching beanies
Purple - Your old New Kids on the Block blanket
Pink - The cut toenails
Other - Your Hannah Montana bed spread

9) The first letter of your first name?
A/B - Your old drivers license
C/D - Your photo with the mustache drawn on it
E/F - Your neighbors dog
G/H - The oil tank from your car
I/J - Your left ear
K/L - The results of that blood-sample
M/N - Your glass eye
O/P - My common sense
Q/R - Your mom
S/T - Your collection of butterflies
U/V - Your criminal record
W/X – Your suicide note
Y/Z - Your credit cards

10) The last letter in your last name?
A/B - Love your sweet, sweet self
C/D - Always will remember the pep talks
E/F -Never will forget that night
G/H – Will not tell the authorites that you stole the whale from the backyard.
I/J – Mocked you behind your back constantly
K/L - Hate your cooking
M/N - Told in my confession today about the moose poaching
O/P - Haven’t showered in a month
Q/R - Get sick when I think of your feet
S/T - Always wanted to break your legs
U/V - Will try to forget that you broke my heart
W/X - Told my psychiatrist about the bruises
Y/Z – am better off without you

11) What do you prefer to drink?
Wine- Our friendship is ruined
Soft drink – I’m off to lead a new life as a lemon
Soda – I will haunt you when I’m reincarnated as an Eskimo
Milk - The apartment building is on fire
Water – I always wanted to be a truck driver
Cider– I have a passionate interest for mice
Juice – You ruined my attempts at another world war.
Snapple/Vitamin water – You should get that one thing removed
Hot chocolate – Your Cucumber obsession is weird
Whiskey - I love Oprah Winfrey
Beer – Thanks for the drugs
Other – You should really stop that

12) To which country would you prefer to go on a vacation?
Thailand – Warm tingly sensations
Australia - Greetings to your frog Leonard
France - Love always
Spain - With tears of sadness
China – You make me sick
Germany – Please don’t hurt me
Japan - Go milk a cow
Greece - Your everlasting enemy
USA – Give my love to the salamanders
Egypt – Go drown yourself
England - Good luck with the therapy